


Memories lost and feelings resurfaced.

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Bucky, Dom Steve, Hes sad and im sad, M/M, Masochism, Porn with Feelings, Sad Porn, Smut, Top Steve, Winter Soldier Bucky, angsty porn, fuck buddies, its just porn, its literally just porn and angst, sad bucky, sub bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-29 08:56:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19826779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: No summary I'm bad at these. Just know this is an old fic that I found in my docs and I only fixed the spelling mistakes so it sucks.





	Memories lost and feelings resurfaced.

It wasn't like he didn't know. He just didn't want to believe it. He was kept alive to kill this man and all this man wanted to do was save him. He wanted to help the person hellbent on ending his life. 

Steve why do you have to make this job harder than it already is?

The question ran through his mind like a dog in a field chasing away it's time. Chasing and chasing and ignoring the time ticking away to death and darkness. Because worrying about that was a painful truth that the dog couldn't comprehend in its useless mind. To push out the painful truths and cover them with pretty lies was all the world knew because who wants to focus on the grosque facts when you can live a magnificent falsehood.

Bucky.

Bucky.

Bucky.

The mantra repeated in his brain like the sun repeated it's practiced morning rise and evening falling. 

It repeated itself like the lost prayer on a defeated sinners lips.

It repeated and crashed like waves on the shore swallowing all into its depths to be lost and forgotten over time because no one is left to remember it.

It repeated itself like the whisper that night of the very man that caused it. The red white and blue patriot of the past who held him in place that day and told him exactly who he was and how much he loved him.

Bucky.

A name.

A title.

A forgotten word among lost souls.

Nothing different from the word and, a word used every day by everyone.

But it meant him.

The hands on his hips froze and the bright blue eyes of the blond in front of him froze and stared back at him. Words and questions were muttered and asked but he knew what he wanted.

Steve.

He didn't just want Steve, he needed him. No matter how much he hated the gorgeous man, and despised his very existence, he needed him. He needed to feel him. He needed him to hurt him and touch him like no one else would. He needed to feel the rough callused hands gripping his side's and ripping him apart by the seams. He needed to feel the rushing pain of being gripped to hard to see straight. And Steve was the only one who could do it. The only one able to use him just how he wanted, no needed to be used.

Steve knew what Bucky wanted. He always knew what Bucky wanted. But right now this Bucky hated him. He hated him enough to want to kill him but this was still Bucky no matter how fucked up he was. 

Then again who wasn't at least a little fucked in the head.

As the brunette struggled and whimpered under him pornographic images flashed through his brain and invaded his naive mind. Bucky under him. Bucky bent over for him. Bucky spread wide with his open hole dripping from Steve's doing. They fueled his ex driven mind state and he attacked the others lips once more as he was pressed against the wall by Steve hard enough to lose his breath and gasp for more. 

Steve grabbed his thighs and lifted him effortlessly off the floor and he was molded to the wall not a space left for more movement. The lips he had declared war upon were forgotten as they met his jugular and left marks down Bucky's throat to his collar bone where the path made by lips to skin was ended and Steve was declared victorious by the high moan that escaped the other in a gasp. 

Cloths were soon ripped away by rough yet skilled hands and thrown aside as Bucky was thrown limply onto the bed. Steve was on him in an instant like a raging animal starved of nourishment. Teeth were back on skin as hickeys and bite marks resided down Bucky's heaving chest to his muscular thighs. Right where inner thigh joined more skin a bitemark threw Bucky out of his bliss and into the pain he so joyously accepted from the blonde. This was the pain he needed to feel. To keep him alive.

Steve grabbed the belt he had once thrown aside and wrapped the others hands with the thick leather. Hands together joined to the headboard under him made Steve's half hard dick twitch and grow stiffer.  
The sight of Bucky under him and so venerable made him thirst for more as his eyes slid down to the exposed lower half of the other. Bucky's dick stood to attention as the blonde stared and lost all train of thought. He hadn't even touched him yet and he's already leaking and dripping with precum caused by Steve himself.

Bucky suddenly jolted as a lubed finger slid into him with no warning. Almost as sudden as the first intrusion a second finger was added and then a third as the blonde exposed him to no mercy. 

This is what he needed.

It's what he craved and thirsted for in his fantasies.

The burning hurt.

The glazed over cerulean eyes.

The heavy breathes and slick movements.

The blonde sweaty locks.

Everything.

He just needed it all and the only place he could get it was Steve. He groaned as fingers twisted and pumped in and out of him targeting the spot that made him quiver and whimper under the hasty touches from the man above. Steve didn't stop until he found the spot found the spot that made him whither and cry from milked pleasure under him and attacked Bucky from the inside with lingering touches over his prostate and slick fingers against his walls. The pleasure with the burn of the fast preparation made Bucky drunk of ecstasy and high of the hate that Steve was the only one who could make him feel this way. 

He hated that Steve was so good and being so bad. Steve was the only person who could take him apart and put him back together without failing. But with each of these meeting the more bucky hated that Steve was the only one who could do this. The more these nights lasted the closer Steve was to braking him and trying to peice him back together with no prevail. The closer Steve was to making Bucky love him again.

And Steve didn't deserve the hurt that came with loving him.

And suddenly in his moment of dissociation the fingers that once memorized and antagonized him were replaced by something to a much larger scale. Steve had pushed into him and entered the slightly smaller but just as strong man. 

No amount of preparation could prepare a normal human for this. But Bucky wasn't normal was he.

Steve's monster dick was resting inside him and the slight burn had become a full body blaze as he begged Steve to continue. To wreck him and leave him leaking alone on the mattress in his own self pity and semen. He wanted to feel that grounded pain and be able to cry again as Steve pounded hos mercilessly. But he knew that wouldn't happen unless he assured the blonde he was okay.

So he did just that.

Steve took it as permission to move and started at a blinding but practiced pace as Bucky's body burned by an invisible fire from the inside out. 

Hands used enhanced strength and gripped at hips hard enough to break as a leg was thrown over shoulder and Bucky was turned sideways. 

Bucky had never felt so alive as the fast pace turned punishing and his prostate was attacked by the position. The pain mixed with the pleasure threw him into a loop and all he could do was make little noises under the blonde and bite harder and harder onto his lip until finally that release came. Finally the blinding pain he needed to go over the edge was there as he bit so hard his teeth cornered those precious veins and he bled. 

The semen splattered onto the sheets and Steve didn't stop. He kept going and pumping Bucky's flacks dick back to hardness while Bucky mewled under him out of over stimulation.

The white in Bucky's vision took over the damp darkness of the room they were in. The sting of continued to be pleasured even after orgasm was invigorating as Steve destroyed his swollen puckered ass. 

Suddenly the thrusts got harder and his body was bent in half as Steve's thrusts became strong enough to lift him off the soiled mattress.

His head hit the headboard with each movement and his wrists twisted and his body convulsed with the rough pleasure of being manhandled into submission. 

Bucky loved every second of it.

And he hated that he love it.

Then the floodgates released and Steve bit the juncture of Bucky's neck so hard he bled once more and the white hot pain made him see stars. Steve's seed filled Bucky so gloriously that it spilled out and gushed when Steve's cock was unsheathed from his ass. 

Then they sat there panting covered in bodily fluids. A sheen of sweat coated Bucky's body as he finally caught his breath and turned to his side to sleep. Steve spotted behind him like a missing puzzle piece and put his arm around Bucky to hold him close as they slept.

It didn't take long for the two to fall into a deep exhaustion fueled sleep with the two fitted together like they were built specifically to lay like this in each other's arms.

When Steve woke alone the next morning without even a note farewell he sighed and rubbed his still damp forehead and slipped his clothes back on as he walked out the door down the sex scented hallway of the motel to his bike. No trace of Bucky was anywhere besides the lingering scent of him on Steve. 

Bucky never stayed long enough in the morning to even talk to Steve.

He never looked at him besides when they were in the bedroom and even then it wasn't anything more than harsh stares and lingering gazes.

But if that was as much of Bucky he could have then that's what he would settle for.

Even if it was tearing him apart.

He started his bike and found the road back to the tower. The distraction of the road still wants enough to take his mind off if the dark steady headed brunette that he would fight the world for. His best friend. The man he loved. The person he relied on most. And he didn't even know him.

It hurt so much.

He just wanted Bucky to love him again.

As he walked through the tower doors he got many different kind of looks. 

Knowing from Nat.

Judging from Tony.

Confused from Clint.

Questioning from Sam.

Greeting from Thor.

The others weren't here. But he knows they would have reacted the same.

But he couldn't help but continue to hurt as he went to take his shower and wash off the despair and disgust, with himself and his actions of course. 

But no matter how hard he scrubbed he couldn't erase that feeling of letting the light of his life blow out again.

He cried in the shower that day. Sitting in his own filth curled into himself sobbing and holding his legs in on himself as the scalding water washed away the sweat and lingering seed.

But it didn't wash way the dark emotions and anxiety swimming in his heart or the longing for his old friend and new fuck buddy.

He cried out his feeling and made himself presentable for his team and the last of his sobs escaped and he combed his hair and dressed in jeans and a muscle shirt. He went to the kitchen and put on that strained smile he wore for everyone, the media, the world, his own family.

Because without Bucky that smile never would be real.

Without Bucky, Steve would never be Steve.

Without Bucky was there really a life worth living.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi yall sorry it's so cringy. It sucks. I figured if my first fic on here here is of course gonna be porn.


End file.
